OMG LETS CHAT ASL

Knees

2011-02-26T23:33:00.000-08:00

m_playinwithit: heyy baby whats ur asl please?

m_playinwithit: I kno u there baby, I am a nice guy if u get 2 kno me ;)

hot_chica: 18/f whats your k stats

m_playinwithit: wut

hot_chica: knee stats/ tell me bout ur knees plz

m_playinwithit: there round n hard

m_playinwithit: u got any pics

hot_chica: more knee info first

m_playinwithit: they have lines

hot_chica: ur knees have lines?

m_playinwithit: ya

m_playinwithit: u kno like creases

m_playinwithit: where ur skin moves

hot_chica: thats hot

m_playinwithit: ok

m_playinwithit: wut u wearin baby?

hot_chica: knee socks

m_playinwithit: wut else?

hot_chica: nuthin

m_playinwithit: i like that

m_playinwithit: im not waering anything

hot_chica: really then touch ur kneecaps for me

hot_chica: what u feel

m_playinwithit: bone?

hot_chica: what about tha back of your knees

m_playinwithit: tendons n things

m_playinwithit: but tell me about u baby wut u look like

m_playinwithit: got cam or pix??

m_playinwithit: u there

hot_chica: tell me more bout behind ur knees

m_playinwithit: y

m_playinwithit: hello?

m_playinwithit: theres trendr flesh

m_playinwithit: cartlige

hot_chica: would you say that your knees are of exactly the same circumference

m_playinwithit: ok

m_playinwithit: so do u have any pix

hot_chica: will you do something for me please sugarbaby

m_playinwithit: ya wut

hot_chica: i want u to wrap up one knee so it is never again exposed to light for the next 1 year. but leave the other 1 normal

hot_chica: then come back and tell me how they feel

hot_chica: if u think their chemical composition changed at all

hot_chica: what is the texture & color is like

hot_chica: hello?

hot_chica: and yes i do have hottt pixxx

m_playinwithit: send?

hot_chica: of my knees

[ m_playinwithit has signed off ]

Cobraffe, P.I.

2011-02-11T00:26:00.000-08:00

miko22: roleplaying is cool

miko22: i like furries.

fonxy: Is that the thing where you dress up like animals?

miko22: *laughs* Online, you don't have to dress up, so much as just... be a humanoid animal

fonxy: So you can be part human and part any animal you want?

miko22: Basically. there some kind you'd like to be?

fonxy: Hmm, never really thought about it.

fonxy: What do you do if the other person's animal is a natural predator of your animal?

miko22: um well, usually they're intelligent enough not to eat each other

miko22: I’m usually a fox, when I do that. Honestly I prefer to stay human and have the other person be a furry

fonxy: Yeah, that would be kind of weird to have TWO furries.

fonxy: Can you be a human plus more than one kind of animal?

miko22: yeah, there are like.. hybrids like that.

fonxy: Ok, I got it. I like giraffes, they’re kinda weird and pretty. Part giraffe, part human. And cobra! Cobras are awesome. So part human, part giraffe, part cobra.

fonxy: And the cobra is white with blue stripes, of course. Some people will just understand why. You probably won’t. We’re just strangers seeking companionship on the internet, Miko. I don’t expect you to “get” me.

miko22: um ok

miko22: blending in reptiles is always weird.. don't think i've seen it, but could be possible.

fonxy: Do I get super powers?

miko22: no

fonxy: Yeah, it would be kind of unrealistic for a part human part giraffe part cobra to have super powers

fonxy: But WE ARE BREAKING ALL THE RULES TODAY, MIKO! I am going to need to fly. Fighting crime from the sky.

fonxy: Oh oh and lasers.

fonxy: Need to be able to shoot perps with lasers. Through the fangs. Or those… knobby things that the giraffes have on their heads. I don’t know what those things are for, but they’re just perfect for lasers.

fonxy: Pew Pew!

fonxy: You can be my sidekick, I guess.

miko22: it’s not really a superhero kind of thing

fonxy: No, no, we're just humble private investigators. I don't really think of myself as a "hero".

fonxy: Actually you'll probably need a cape or something to make up for the fact that your dumb fox thing doesn’t have any super powers.

fonxy: So ok, let’s start.

fonxy: I’m so excited.

fonxy: What do we do first? Sign up somewhere?

fonxy: Is it like a club?

fonxy: You there?

fonxy: Oh are you waiting for me to call to you in your fox language?

fonxy: Wait, what kind of sound does a fox make anyway?

fonxy: Kind of an effeminate growl?

fonxy: I don’t know how to type that.

fonxy: Seriously, are you there?

Dennis, the geode salesman

2010-03-26T14:01:00.000-07:00

This guy spent 10 minutes asking insistently for my picture. As a final effort, he sent me his own Myspace page which advertised that he sells geodes on Ebay.

sugarnspice: I see that you are into geodes
guest24571: yea they're all over where i'm from
sugarnspice: that's cool
sugarnspice: so you know a lot about rocks and stuff?
guest24571: yeah… my dad got me into it.... my parents are know all over the world amongst rock and mineral collectors
sugarnspice: that’s cool. so you are like famous
guest24571: not hollywood famous, but in the gem and mineral industry, yea....
guest24571: I make a living selling minerals on ebay.... and do damn good too lol
guest24571: so you wanna talk on cam sexy?
guest24571: whats your name…. im dennis
sugarnspice: hey can i ask you a question then
sugarnspice: if u know sum stuff about rocks n stuff
guest24571: yea go ahead
sugarnspice: do u know what a sunela stone is?
guest24571: no i don't
sugarnspice: well like 2 mo. ago I bought some junk in an antiqe shop and the guy gave me this rock along with it for free
sugarnspice: b/c he just wanted to get rid of it… iwas like whatev lol
sugarnspice: he said thats what it was called n I cant find anything about it online
guest24571: is it yellow?
sugarnspice: no its like blue gray ish
sugarnspice: well then let me ask u this..
sugarnspice: n im dead serious ok
guest24571: aright i'm listenin
sugarnspice: have you ever heard of like a spirit in a stone
guest24571: it's probably like an indian legend or something
guest24571: are you sure it's spelled sunela
sugarnspice: no he didnt write it down but thats what it sounded like
sugarnspice: he said it was supposed to be like the spirit of some polanesian warrier in it
guest24571: do u have a pic of it?
sugarnspice: no
sugarnspice: its just a shiny round rock
guest24571: do you know where it's from?
sugarnspice: nope the guy didnt say
guest24571: is the color solid or can u see thru it somewhat?
sugarnspice: is there any reason a rock ever makes a noise?
sugarnspice: like gases ecsaping or something??
guest24571: only if you throw it against another surface or something.. other than that, no
sugarnspice: well ok
sugarnspice: bc sometimes when the room is rly quiet
sugarnspice: it makes this noise
guest24571: lol really?
sugarnspice: i swear
sugarnspice: this tiny quiet noise
sugarnspice: i thought it was my imaganation… but if I put my ear up real close its def. the rock
guest24571: maybe it is....
guest24571: can you describe the noise?
sugarnspice: its like this tiny little chirp
guest24571: hmmmm odd
guest24571: how often does it do it
sugarnspice: like every few min maybe.. but only sometimes
sugarnspice: its freaking me out
guest24571: maybe its indian spirits that are disturbed and they're gonna get ya
sugarnspice: !!!!!
sugarnspice: srsly though what shoud i do its creepy
sugarnspice: n i had this dream about it
sugarnspice: where i picked it up n accidently dropped it n it broke open
sugarnspice: n there was like an earthquake sort of?
sugarnspice: so now i dont even want to touch it
guest24571: lol
sugarnspice: :(
guest24571: so anyways, what do you do for fun girl?
sugarnspice: no im so serious
sugarnspice: have you ever heard of that happening
guest24571: no i haven't
sugarnspice: are you 100% positive it cant happen
sugarnspice: have your parents ever mentioned it
guest24571: no they haven't.......
sugarnspice: i know it sounds dumb
sugarnspice: but rocks arent supposed ot make noises n idont know what to think n its scaring me
guest24571: but it's not natural for rocks to make noises lol
sugarnspice: I KNOW thats y Im freaking out!!!
guest24571: ok calm down.. try googling sunela stone.. or wikipedia it
sugarnspice: i did, there isnt anything
sugarnspice: your supposed to be the rock expert, dennis!
sugarnspice: im turning to you for help!!!
guest24571: I don’t know what to tell you
sugarnspice: its making the noise right now
sugarnspice: what should i do??!
guest24571: throw it away
sugarnspice: but id ont want to touch it!!
sugarnspice: do u want it??
sugarnspice: you could come here n take it if u want it for your collection.. u only live like 2 hours away
sugarnspice: u can have it for free
sugarnspice: u take it home n figure out what it is… maybe sell it for a lot
guest24571: I doubt it
sugarnspice: u are just making excuses
sugarnspice: ur afraid of it too
guest24571: im not afraid of a rock
sugarnspice: u oviously are… ok look you don’t even have to take it if your scared of it
sugarnspice: just tell me how to get rid of it
sugarnspice: what if it like burns my fingers off??
guest24571: why would it burn your fingers off?
sugarnspice: bc when I get close to touching it it seems like its really hot
guest24571: pick it up with tongs or an oven mit
sugarnspice: i don’t have that…
sugarnspice: i ll just try to pick it up
guest24571: no don’t… it could be dangerous… dont touch it with yourbare hand
sugarnspice: why? do u know what this is after all??
guest24571: no.. but if it seems dangerous you souldnt touch it
guest24571: can you move it with another object… like roll it into a box or something
sugarnspice: noo but what if I drop it!!??
sugarnspice: I have to jut pick it up with my hand… if I try to use sumthing else Im afraid ill drop it
guest24571: DO NOT touch it with your bare hand
guest24571: are you there?

guest24571: hello?

guest24571: are you ok?

sugarnspice: OMG it made the noise rightr when I went to touch it…
sugarnspice: im freaking outttttttttttttt what should I do ??
sugarnspice: do you think i should call the police?
guest24571: that might work
sugarnspice: im going to give them ur name if they want a witness or anything ok
guest24571: nooo don't.. i don't like the police lol
sugarnspice: why not
sugarnspice: are you selling stolen geodes
sugarnspice: stolen from mother earth
guest24571: no
sugarnspice: well wut do i say if they want a witnes??
sugarnspice: if they ask if i was talking to u im not going to lie
guest24571: well i wasn't a witness to the event
guest24571: don’t call the police
sugarnspice: this noise is def. a lil louder than it was a couple days ago
guest24571: are you sure?
sugarnspice: yes
sugarnspice: y would it be getting louder??
guest24571: no idea… but its getting me curious
guest24571: can you send me a picture of this rock?
guest24571: what town do you live in again?
sugarnspice: brb
guest24571: I could drive up next weekend

sugarnspice: hey is ur last name wilson?
guest24571: yes why
sugarnspice: can i have a # where they can reach you please
guest24571: who?
sugarnspice: the police… idk why

sugarnspice: hello?

sugarnspice: dennis?

sugarnspice: u there

sugarnspice: dennis?
sugarnspice: what have you done?

Deaf Genie

2010-03-24T18:04:00.000-07:00

guest31334: hello
AngelEyes: hello?
AngelEyes: do u hear static??
guest31334: can u show me ur pic
guest31334: helloooo what happen dear
AngelEyes: hello??
guest31334: r u there
guest31334: what is ur name
AngelEyes: Lethalina
guest31334: nice i am sathish
guest31334: can u voice chat
AngelEyes: im a deaf mute :(
guest31334: ok video chat
AngelEyes: no.. now im too sad b/c of my deafness :(
guest31334: ok dear
AngelEyes: y did i deserve this!!!!11
guest31334: no
AngelEyes: whyyyyy do i have to be deaf
AngelEyes: i cant even talk 2 ppl on the internet
AngelEyes: what kindof life is this???
AngelEyes: am i being punished, sathish?
guest31334: ok ur wish
AngelEyes: oh!!
AngelEyes: are you a genie???
guest31334: yes
AngelEyes: omg u could change my hwole life…
AngelEyes: can u guess what my #1 wish would be
guest31334: yes
guest31334: dear
AngelEyes: I want to be able to juggle
AngelEyes: that would be soooooo cool
AngelEyes: so what do i have to do?
AngelEyes: is there a lamp?
AngelEyes: hello?
guest31334: really
AngelEyes: what?
AngelEyes: louder please
guest31334: nothing
AngelEyes: don't think you can play tricks on me just bc im deaf!!
AngelEyes: hello?
guest31334: what do u want now
AngelEyes: do i get two more wishes?
AngelEyes: what is the static noise/?? do u hear it
AngelEyes: omg it sooo sux to be deaf… :(
guest31334: ofcource second wish… anything in the world
AngelEyes: ok ummm.. I want to be able to taste double
AngelEyes: i think that would make me feel a lot better about being deaf
AngelEyes: if I could taste things really well
guest31334: haha okay darling
AngelEyes: r u sure your a real genie
AngelEyes: how do i know this isnt a scam
guest31334: yeah
guest31334: any question ask me
AngelEyes: will u call me?? So I can hear if u have a genie voice
AngelEyes: OMGGG nvm i don’t even know what that sounds like :(
guest31334: i don;t like scam with u
guest31334: i have no geine voice
AngelEyes: but you are a genie right
AngelEyes: just not like the stereotype
guest31334: lethalina
guest31334: i also not like srereotype
AngelEyes: im sorry
AngelEyes: i just wanted to get to know a real live genie i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings
guest31334: okay
AngelEyes: do i still get my third wish?
guest31334: i want see u
guest31334: helloooooo
guest31334: lethalina

guest31334 has invited you to Voice Chat.

AngelEyes: OMG
AngelEyes: I TOLD U I AM DEAFFFFF
AngelEyes: Y WOULD U DO THATTTTT
guest31334: no i hit the button by mistak darling
guest31334: ok
AngelEyes: OMGGGGGGGGGG :((((((((((((((((((((((((
guest31334 has signed out.

Friends discount!

2010-03-24T16:03:00.000-07:00

guest8013457: you have a web cam
Tiffany: Yeah, I have all kinds of webcams.
Tiffany: 8mm cameras.
Tiffany: Editing software.
Tiffany: What do I have to do to make a sale today?
guest8013457: wat you mean
guest8013457: wat you do like work or wat
Tiffany: Why don't you tell me what you're looking for?
guest8013457: a girl
guest8013457: are you there
Tiffany: Yes I am
guest8013457: you have pics
Tiffany: Sure.
Tiffany: What kind are you looking for?
guest8013457: any thing
Tiffany: And if you like what you see, I can get you a great deal on some ink and supplies.
guest8013457: wat you got
Tiffany: I'll can probably get you a 20% discount.
Tiffany: …I like you. Just don't tell my manager! ;)
guest8013457: ok
guest8013457: just show me ur pic pls
Tiffany: So, laser printers then?
Tiffany: Dot matrix?
guest8013457: LET ME SEE
Tiffany: Epson has some great models this year.
Tiffany: Okay, okay.
Tiffany: http://www.pcmag.com/products/qn=Ink+Jet+Printers+Epson00.asp
Tiffany: Now, aren’t those some great pictures? Look at that quality.
Tiffany: You just tell me if you like what you see, and we'll strike up a deal.
Tiffany: You're not going to find discounts like this anywhere else.
guest8013457: SHOW MEEEEEEEEE UR DAM PIC
Tiffany: What?
guest8013457: THAT NOT WAT AM LOOKING FOR SORRY
Tiffany: Oh. Sorry.
Tiffany: What was it you were interested in?
guest8013457: FRIENDS
Tiffany: Yes! We have that on Blu-ray, VHS and audio cassettes. What season were you looking for?
Tiffany: Wasn’t it just the greatest when Ross and Rachel got back together?
guest8013457: I GOT ALL A THAT ALREADY
Tiffany: THEN WHAT ARE YOU ASKING ME FOR
Tiffany: THERE IS NO PLEASING YOU PEOPLE
Tiffany: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME
Tiffany: I QUIT
Tiffany: YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT THE DISCOUNT AND I LIED WHEN I SAID YOU LOOKED LIKE JENNIFER ANISTON
guest8013457: you didnt say that
Tiffany: YEAH BECAUSE YOU DON’T
Tiffany: GOODBYE

Beautiful back haired girl

2010-02-08T19:30:00.000-08:00

[23:51] guest513871: can i see wat u look like?
[23:51] guest513871: if dats ok with u
[23:51] lolchick87: Sure go ahead
[23:52] guest513871: show me
[23:52] lolchick87: Try to see for yourself, first.
[23:52] guest513871: how
[23:52] guest513871: can u give me ur email i will add u
[23:52] guest513871: ?
[23:53] lolchick87: See me in your mind's eye.
[23:53] guest513871: its ipocible to find ur pic without u giving it
[23:53] guest513871: hahaha
[23:53] lolchick87: Oh, you're living with such boundaries.
[23:53] lolchick87: No, for real, you can really do this. It's called remote viewing.
[23:53] lolchick87: Just relax and your mind will see what I'm sending you.
[23:53] guest513871: well i guess ur beutiful back haired?
[23:53] guest513871: supper hot
[23:53] guest513871: and ur wearing only longerie
[23:53] guest513871: am i close
[23:54] lolchick87: WOW, that was very good for a first try! You're a natural.
[23:54] lolchick87: You even saw my back hair.
[23:55] guest513871: what
[23:55] lolchick87: what

Egoest girl

2009-10-29T23:18:00.000-07:00

[02:08] shailm24uk: can i have ur Yahoo iD pls
[02:08] FOXY: No.
[02:08] shailm24uk: hw can i add u in my buddy
[02:09] FOXY: You can't.
[02:09] shailm24uk: wat i cant
[02:09] shailm24uk: this is not far
[02:09] FOXY: No, it's very close.
[02:10] shailm24uk: but i will not do miss use
[02:10] shailm24uk: i wanna just remembered u
[02:11] FOXY: Oh! That's so sweet <3
[02:11] shailm24uk: wat sweet
[02:11] FOXY: You just want to remember our time together.
[02:12] shailm24uk: why not for long time
[02:12] FOXY: You're right
[02:12] FOXY: We shouldn't be afraid of long term commitment.
[02:12] FOXY: What do you say we tie the knot?
[02:13] shailm24uk: i hv many friend from other country
[02:13] shailm24uk: they never told me that
[02:13] shailm24uk: u r very egoest girl
[02:13] FOXY: I admit it…
[02:14] FOXY: but isn't that what you love about me?
[02:14] FOXY: It's the little spark between us.
[02:14] shailm24uk: no i never do love any girl
[02:15] shailm24uk: all girls are my friends not girlfriend
[02:15] shailm24uk: ok
[02:15] FOXY: I know, you can never love any other girl.
[02:15] shailm24uk: hw u know
[02:15] FOXY: There's an unspoken bond between us.
[02:16] FOXY: Deeper than words. Sometimes... words would just cheapen it.
[02:16] shailm24uk: becoz i don get any true girl for that
[02:18] shailm24uk: hey i m not that type of boy
[02:18] shailm24uk: ok
[02:18] shailm24uk: i wanna just ur friendship
[02:18] shailm24uk: yeah, whatever
[02:19] shailm24uk: who are they?
[02:19] FOXY: Who, honey?
[02:19] shailm24uk: wat r u say i cant understand
[02:20] shailm24uk: r u asking abot honey
[02:20] shailm24uk: the name
[02:20] shailm24uk: or asking about other
[02:20] FOXY: Who are who?
[02:21] FOXY: I can't understand you, sweetie.
[02:21] FOXY: Did you have a bad dream?
[02:21] shailm24uk: honey is my friend
[02:21] shailm24uk: r u honey's friend
[02:22] shailm24uk: dont say that any more
[02:22] shailm24uk: no more u calling me by honey ok
[02:22] shailm24uk: hello
[02:23] FOXY: Did I say something to upset you?
[02:23] shailm24uk: no
[02:23] FOXY: Then why this change of heart?
[02:23] shailm24uk: i ask u for friendship
[02:23] shailm24uk: wats ur reply
[02:23] FOXY: We're past friendship, Shail.
[02:24] FOXY: Giving you up is going to be the hardest thing I’ll ever do.
[02:24] shailm24uk: yes
[02:24] shailm24uk: u invite me on ur cam
[02:24] shailm24uk: can we be friend now
[02:25] shailm24uk: hello
[02:27] shailm24uk: hello u der
[02:30] shailm24uk: this is ur honey
[02:30] shailm24uk: wanting to cam pls
[02:31] shailm24uk: honey
[02:31] shailm24uk: u r egoest girl honey

terrible news

2009-04-25T17:20:00.000-07:00

[16:57] guest6766388: hey
[16:57] guest6766388: whats up
[16:58] lollipopgurl: Hi
[16:58] guest6766388: im 14 and im a girl
[16:58] guest6766388: big boobs to
[16:58] guest6766388: they are 36b
[16:59] lollipopgurl: I'm so happy for you.
[17:00] guest6766388: why
[17:00] guest6766388: you likey
[17:01] guest6766388: i like you
[17:02] lollipopgurl: But you don't know anything about me.
[17:02] guest6766388: still you are probly still hot
[17:02] lollipopgurl: Why, what do you think I look like?
[17:03] guest6766388: hot and sexy like i like about guy ya
[17:05] lollipopgurl: Then I have terrible news for you.
[17:05] guest6766388: why
[17:05] guest6766388: you have a gf
[17:05] guest6766388: right
[17:05] lollipopgurl: No.
[17:05] lollipopgurl: As my screenname would tend to suggest to most people, I am female.
[17:05] guest6766388: what
[17:06] guest6766388: sorry bye
[17:06] guest6766388: gtg
[17:06] lollipopgurl: Wait
[17:06] lollipopgurl: Keep an open mind!
[17:06] guest6766388: ok
[17:06] lollipopgurl: I used to be a guy. Does that help?
[17:06] guest6766388: bye gtg

Pictures of my body

2009-04-24T17:03:00.000-07:00

[17:16] guest4315118: any pics
[17:17] cutiegirl90: Lots.
[17:17] guest4315118: can i see
[17:17] cutiegirl90: Sure, what would you like to see?
[17:17] cutiegirl90: I have some nice ones of cats.
[17:17] guest4315118: your body
[17:19] cutiegirl90: Close ups?
[17:19] cutiegirl90: Got some of my elbows.
[17:19] cutiegirl90: I have great elbows.
[17:19] cutiegirl90: I don't mean to brag, but I'm just being honest.
[17:21] guest4315118: well... thinkin other parts
[17:21] cutiegirl90: Ah, of course. Say no more. ;)
[17:22] cutiegirl90: You're into kneecaps. Right?
[17:22] guest4315118: huh
[17:23] cutiegirl90: I've got the hottest kneecaps north of the Mississippi.
[17:25] cutiegirl90: Hello?

Stringbean

2009-04-23T20:02:00.000-07:00

[brandon82] hi hon describe urself to me
[angeleyes] Why don't you go first? How tall are you?
[brandon82] ok
[brandon82] i am 5 9 160 lbs very muscular weighlifter
[angeleyes] Ah, you're just a puny little thing.
[brandon82] its your turn
[angeleyes] I'm 6' 1", about 195 lbs, weightlifter also. Super ripped.
[angeleyes] How much can you bench, stringbean?
[brandon82] what
[angeleyes] I bet I could take you in a fight.
[angeleyes] You want to meet someplace, or what?
[brandon82] the hell?
[angeleyes] Don't get upset.
[angeleyes] We could have a great life together.
[angeleyes] I could open all your pickle jars, make you all the protein shakes you want. And when you get tired, I could carry you around like a child.
[brandon82] bye
[angeleyes] Aw, come on. I'm just kidding.
[angeleyes] Don't go.
[angeleyes] I'll leave some jars for you to open. I know it's important for your masculinity.
[brandon82 has signed out]

I MISS MOM

2009-02-26T15:56:00.000-08:00

[sincerem32]would love to have some fun together
[julie]Like Six Flags.
[sincerem32]the amusement park you mean ?
[julie]Yes.
[julie]ITS SO FUN
[sincerem32]its alot of fun
[sincerem32]lol
[julie]Tell me more about yourself.
[sincerem32]I like hiking,...the outdoors
[julie]Cool.
[sincerem32]I used to sport alot...due to work its alot less
[julie]I LIKE TRAINS
[sincerem32]lol..ok....
[sincerem32]I like to travel with trains
[julie]Me too.
[sincerem32]you meet alot of people in there
[julie]I know, it's great.
[julie]So do you have any pets?
[sincerem32]seems we have alot in common....lol...scary
[sincerem32]nope
[sincerem32]the travelling makes that impossible
[julie]That's a shame.
[sincerem32]lol..its ok
[julie]I REALLY LIKE CATS
[julie]I HAD 3 BUT 2 DIED
[julie]So, what do you do for a living?
[sincerem32]I;m a project engineer
[julie]You enjoy outdoor things?
[sincerem32]yes....walk along the beach
[julie]I LIKE THE BEACH
[julie]I MADE A SANDCASTLE IT WAS PRETTY
[sincerem32]lol...cool...I love to do that with my nephews
[julie]I HOPE YOUR NEPHEWS ARENT THE BOYS WHO KNOCKED MY SANDCASTLE DOWN
[julie]THEY MADE ME SO MAD
[julie]How old are your nephews?
[sincerem32]lol..no they were not...
[sincerem32]they are 8 and 6
[julie]Oh, that's nice that they're so close in age.
[julie]I bet they're great friends.
[sincerem32]indeed
[julie]So what else do you like to do for fun?
[sincerem32]I like active things
[julie]I LIKE TO GO TO THE PARK BUT THE BAD MEN ARE THERE
[sincerem32]wakeboarding
[julie]Wakeboarding sounds fun.
[sincerem32]bad men....??...explain
[julie]How do you do it?
[sincerem32]do what ?
[julie]Wakeboard.
[sincerem32]just get in the water and try it....once you figured it out its alot of fun
[sincerem32]so what is it you like to do that is real ...and I mean real fun to you?
[julie]I LIKE THE SWINGS
[julie]BUT THATS AN ANGRY PLACE NOW
[sincerem32]why;s that ?
[julie]Why is what?
[sincerem32]an angry place
[sincerem32]??
[julie]I CRY AT NIGHT
[sincerem32]for what reason ?
[sincerem32]about what ?
[sincerem32]hello?
[sincerem32]still here ?
[julie]I MISS MOM SHE HAD YELLOW HAIR
[julie]What?
[sincerem32]what
[sincerem32]why you keep doing that
[julie]Doing what?
[sincerem32]typin like somebody else
[julie]Oh...
[julie]You noticed.
[sincerem32]??
[julie]I'm sorry. I have these sort of childhood flashbacks.
[julie]I can't really control them.
[sincerem32]really?
[julie]Yes.
[sincerem32]why did something happen to your mom?
[julie]Well... that's kind of a painful topic for me.
[julie]DADDY GIVE HER A REAL BIG HUG N THEN SHE DIDNT MOVE NO MORE
[julie]I don't really like to talk about it.
[sincerem32]um ok
[sincerem32]are you sure you're not kidding?
[julie]Yes.
[julie]I find it's best if we both just ignore it.
[julie]Of course, if you'd rather stop talking to me, I'd understand. It's difficult for some people.
[sincerem32]no ill talk to you
[julie]Great. I appreciate that, because most people just pass me by.
[sincerem32]its ok
[sincerem32]what do you want to talk about?
[julie]Anything you want.
[julie]DADDY SAID I COULD HAVE CHOCOLATE CAKE
[sincerem32]ok would you mind if i ask you some personal questions
[julie]Sure, go right ahead.
[julie]MOM USED TO MAKE ME CAKES
[julie]I MISS MOM
[sincerem32]well for starters how bout your breast size
[julie]THE MEN IN SUITS ASK WHERE SHE WENT DADDY TELL ME TO SAY I AINT SEEN HER BUT I DID
[julie]C cup. Do you like that?
[sincerem32]yes that's perfect
[julie]What else would you like to know?
[sincerem32]well... it would really be best if I had a picture of you
[julie]Hmm... let me see if I can find one.
[sincerem32]ok
[julie]DADDY TAKE HER IN THE BACK YARD SAID DONT WORRY SHE KNOWS HOW TO BREATHE UNDERNEATH MY FLOWERS
[sincerem32]what
[julie]What?
[sincerem32]did you just say your dad buried your mom in your back yard?
[julie]Did I? I don't want to talk about it.
[julie]Please try not to pay attention to that stuff.
[sincerem32]ok but were you serious about that?
[julie]It's complicated. If you don't mind, I'd really rather not talk about it.
[sincerem32]ok but I think you need help
[sincerem32]no offense but seriously
[julie]Don't worry about it.
[julie]Wouldn't you like to see my picture?
[sincerem32 has logged out.]

Kittens and puppies

2009-01-01T22:46:00.000-08:00

[00:02] QTgrl: i love kittens
[00:03] drummachine: aww
[00:04] drummachine: girls always like kittens
[00:04] QTgrl: ya... lol
[00:05] drummachine: hmm.. i have to get some kittens
[00:06] QTgrl: definitely
[00:10] QTgrl: have u ever stabbed anybody
[00:11] drummachine: no?
[00:11] drummachine: why?
[00:11] QTgrl: no reason lol
[00:12] QTgrl: do u like kittens or puppies better?
[00:12] QTgrl: ya i know lol
[00:12] drummachine: kittens. but i like dogs better than cats
[00:13] QTgrl: ya i love dogs
[00:15] QTgrl: u probably like big dogs tho rite
[00:15] QTgrl: not the little ones
[00:15] drummachine: exactly
[00:16] QTgrl: yep
[00:16] QTgrl: hey do u know if 409 cleans up blood
[00:17] drummachine: if the blood isnt set in
[00:18] drummachine: the trick is to get as little blood on shit as possible
[00:18] QTgrl: lol ya
[00:18] QTgrl: so do u like german sheperds
[00:18] drummachine: yeah. there alright
[00:19] drummachine: i like rotties
[00:19] QTgrl: what do u have?
[00:19] QTgrl: oh ya they are cuties
[00:19] drummachine: black lab
[00:19] drummachine: and a cat
[00:20] QTgrl: cool
[00:20] QTgrl: boy or girl cat
[00:20] drummachine: boy
[00:20] QTgrl: black cat too?
[00:20] drummachine: yep
[00:20] drummachine: very very furry
[00:22] QTgrl: aw whats his name
[00:23] drummachine: baco
[00:23] QTgrl: cute
[00:25] QTgrl: does bleach make it so they cant find blood stains
[00:25] drummachine: nope
[00:25] QTgrl: !!
[00:25] QTgrl: what does then
[00:26] drummachine: paint thinner
[00:26] drummachine: proabbaly
[00:26] QTgrl: o ok
[00:26] QTgrl: but like if they REALLY look 4 it? like w/ a magnifying glass and chemicles
[00:25] drummachine: why are u covering up a mess?
[00:26] QTgrl: so whats your dogs name
[00:26] drummachine: did you kill someone?
[00:26] drummachine: its ok.. you can tell me
[00:26] QTgrl: is the dog a boy too?
[00:27] drummachine: yeah
[00:27] QTgrl: nice
[00:28] drummachine: you have a dog?
[00:28] QTgrl: ya a poodle
[00:28] drummachine: cute.
[00:28] QTgrl: yep shes almost 1 yr
[00:29] QTgrl: hey do u know a really good like odor getter-ridder
[00:31] QTgrl: or wait
[00:31] QTgrl: can dogs smell stuff underground?
[00:31] drummachine: yeah
[00:31] QTgrl: like way way underground
[00:31] drummachine: i guess it depends
[00:31] QTgrl: like 6 feet
[00:32] drummachine: um..
[00:33] QTgrl: hey look i need to go buy a tarp real quick
[00:33] QTgrl: where do u buy it??
[00:36] drummachine: home depot?
[00:37] QTgrl: oh ok
[00:38] QTgrl: does it keep smells out too
[00:39] drummachine: why?
[00:39] drummachine: seriously what did you do
[00:40] QTgrl: nothin
[00:40] QTgrl: Im gonna be back soon, i want 2 hear more about ur dogs kk
[00:40] QTgrl: brb
[00:41] drummachine has signed off.

It's really a bad cycle for scorpios right now

2008-12-23T14:04:00.000-08:00

[11:02] guest1131: so hun
[11:02] guest1131: whats ur sign?
[11:02] omglol: scorpio
[11:03] guest1131: lol
[11:03] guest1131: u know the whole time weve been talking
[11:03] guest1131: i knew u were a scorpio
[11:03] omglol: did you really?
[11:04] guest1131: yeah
[11:04] omglol: that's amazing
[11:04] guest1131: yeah i guess u could say im just talented
[11:04] omglol: or more accurately, you're completely full of crap
[11:04] omglol: because I'm not really a scorpio
[11:07] omglol: sooo... pix?
[11:07] omglol: lawlz0rz
[11:07] guest1131: fuck you

Dark meat

2008-12-23T13:45:00.000-08:00

[silentcape] like dark meat?
[lolchick] Yes, but isn't it unhealthy?
[silentcape] lol...why unhealthy?
[lolchick] Well isn't dark meat the muscles that have more fat in them?
[silentcape] not that kind
[lolchick] It's more flavorful that way, but they say it's unhealthy.
[lolchick] White meat has less oxygen-carrying myoglobin than the walking muscles, or dark meat, and is thus lighter in
color.
[lolchick] Or so says the poultry entry on Wikipedia.
[lolchick] What do you mean?
[silentcape] lol
[silentcape] no...like thick dark choco
[lolchick] Oh, I like chocolate!
[lolchick] You ever try that Lindt 70% cacao stuff?
[silentcape] nope
[lolchick] It's good.
[silentcape] ok
[lolchick] Sometimes they put little bits of pecan in there.
[lolchick] Raisins.
[lolchick] Hello?

Knives

2008-12-23T12:26:00.000-08:00

[yoyoplay354] come here
[yoyoplay354] u cute lil thing
[yoyoplay354] u wanna cuddle?
[lolchick] sure
[yoyoplay354] cool
[yoyoplay354] so what r u wearing when were cuddlin?
[yoyoplay354] feel anything touching ur butt?:P
[lolchick] oh yeah
[yoyoplay354] what is it?
[lolchick] knives
[yoyoplay354] ?!
[yoyoplay354] :)
[yoyoplay354] what?
[lolchick] what?
[yoyoplay354] knives?
[lolchick] what about them?
[yoyoplay354] u said knives
[yoyoplay354] how do u feel knives on ur butt?:)
[lolchick] what??
[yoyoplay354] u typed knives a bit ago
[yoyoplay354] wanna kiss?
[lolchick] ????
[lolchick] i did not
[lolchick] your weird
[yoyoplay354] why am i weird?
[yoyoplay354] i asked "what do you feel on your butt?"
[lolchick] we're talkin all sexy-like and then you start talkin about knives ?
[yoyoplay354] and you typed "knives"
[yoyoplay354] maybe you did it accidentally
[yoyoplay354] anyway
[yoyoplay354] lets forget about it ok?
[lolchick] yeah whatever
[yoyoplay354] :)
[yoyoplay354] *holds you tight and puts a kiss on ur neck*
[yoyoplay354] u like it?
[lolchick] ur going to cut my throat??
[lolchick] let go of me
[yoyoplay354] what r u talkin about
[yoyoplay354] ?
[yoyoplay354] why are you talkin like this?
[lolchick] because this knife stuff is a turn off
[lolchick] sorry
[yoyoplay354] yeah but
[yoyoplay354] i swear
[yoyoplay354] i saw it on my screen typed
[yoyoplay354] on our window
[yoyoplay354] mustve been a mistake
[yoyoplay354] just forget about it
[yoyoplay354] lets have fun
[lolchick] um ok
[lolchick] but plz no more knives
[yoyoplay354] if u dont wanna talk i understand
[yoyoplay354] but lets just cuddle ok?
[lolchick] yes
[yoyoplay354] ok
[yoyoplay354] im holdin u tight
[yoyoplay354] feelin good?
[lolchick] yes very good
[yoyoplay354] ur butt is right in front of me
[yoyoplay354] u reach doen my pants what do u find
[lolchick] knives
[yoyoplay354] ??
[lolchick] hello?
[lolchick] are we going to cuddle?
[lolchick] hello?

Kellybot

2008-12-23T00:16:00.000-08:00

[MovieKing18m] hey. whats up
[34942] I'm Kelly. What's your name?
[MovieKing18m] Matt
[34942] Maybe you and I could be friends. ;)
[MovieKing18m] maybe. asl?
[34942] I'm 25 years old.
[MovieKing18m] u a model?
[34942] I enjoy movies, sports and cooking.
[34942] Tell me about yourself!
[MovieKing18m] I like fast cars and pretty women! lol
[MovieKing18m] jk
[34942] You sound sexy.
[34942] I enjoy movies, sports and cooking.
[MovieKing18m] ur a bot
[34942] I'm just a country girl at heart.
[MovieKing18m] good 4 u. if ur not a bot, type bob backwards
[34942] What do you mean?
[MovieKing18m] r u a bot?
[34942] I'm a sexy blonde.
[34942] I like to have a good time.
[MovieKing18m] how?
[34942] Want to have some fun? ;)
[MovieKing18m] sure
[34942] Are you a hit in the bedroom?
[MovieKing18m] oh yeah.
[34942] You sound sexy.
[MovieKing18m] i am
[34942] Are you tired of high prices at the pharmacy?
[34942] I'm bored tonight.
[MovieKing18m] r u horny?
[34942] You’re making me blush!
[34942] I like to have a good time.
[MovieKing18m] am i a bot? no u are
[34942] Is your salary too low?
[MovieKing18m] f u
[34942] That's not nice.
[MovieKing18m] r u a bot?
[MovieKing18m] yes or no?
[34942] Of course not.
[MovieKing18m] u sound like one
[34942] I'm just a country girl at heart.
[MovieKing18m] what are you wearing right now?
[34942] I'm not wearing any clothes.
[MovieKing18m] ok. wanna cyber
[34942] You’re making me blush!
[MovieKing18m] ur a bot
[MovieKing18m] ur a bot
[MovieKing18m] ur a bot
[34942] What makes you say that?
[MovieKing18m] u repeat shit
[34942] You have a foul mouth.
[MovieKing18m] i'm sorry u just sound like a bot
[MovieKing18m] can i test you?
[34942] What do you mean?
[MovieKing18m] can i see if ur bot?
[MovieKing18m] complete this sentence. the sky is....
[34942] Blue
[MovieKing18m] took u long enough
[34942] You're not being very nice. :(
[MovieKing18m] well do u wanna cyber or not?
[34942] Are you a hit in the bedroom?
[MovieKing18m] for the second time yes
[34942] I like to have a good time.
[MovieKing18m] i would pleasure u. u like that?
[34942] I enjoy movies, sports and cooking.
[MovieKing18m] i know u do
[34942] I'm just a country girl at heart.
[MovieKing18m] i know u r
[34942] Tell me something about yourself.
[MovieKing18m] where are you located?
[34942] I'm from California.
[MovieKing18m] r u blonde
[34942] I'm a sexy blonde.
[MovieKing18m] what are you wearing?
[34942] I'm not wearing any clothes.
[MovieKing18m] nude?
[34942] You're making me blush!
[MovieKing18m] do you wear a thong?
[34942] I'm not wearing any clothes.
[MovieKing18m] whats your fav sex position?
[34942] You're making me blush!
[MovieKing18m] answer my question
[34942] Why pay more when you can enjoy a special discount?
[34942] Are you interested in a special discount?
[34942] I'm not wearing any clothes.
[MovieKing18m] what?
[34942] I enjoy movies, sports and cooking.
[MovieKing18m] porn?
[34942] You're making me blush!
[MovieKing18m] answer the Fing question
[34942] You're not being very nice. :(
[MovieKing18m] ur a bot
[34942] What do you mean?
[MovieKing18m] u
[MovieKing18m] r
[MovieKing18m] a
[MovieKing18m] bot
[34942] You're a worthless sack of shit.
[34942] Are you tired of paying high prices at the pump?
[MovieKing18m] wait what?
[34942] I’m a sexy blonde.
[MovieKing18m] are you a bot?
[34942] I’m not wearing any clothes.
[MovieKing18m] what color r ur eyes?
[34942] What do you mean?
[MovieKing18m] answer the question or i'll report u
[34942] You're not being very nice. :(
[34942] Want to have some fun? ;)
[MovieKing18m] yes!!!!!!
[34942] I’m a sexy blonde.
[34942] Is your salary too low?
[34942] I like to have a good time.
[MovieKing18m] bye bot
[34942] Your mother's a prostitute.
[MovieKing18m] what the hell
[MovieKing18m] ARE U A BOT OR NOT
[34942] I'm just a country girl at heart.
[MovieKing18m] fuck you
[34942] You're making me blush!
[34942] Want to have some fun? ;)
[34942] I’m a sexy blonde.

When in Rome

2008-12-22T17:40:00.000-08:00

[Daniel27] hi
[somegirl] hi daniel!
[Daniel27] i thought youre gone
[somegirl] yeah i thought so too
[somegirl] but then there was a wonderful bright light!
[Daniel27] im 27 romania
[somegirl] oh cool
[somegirl] are you roman?
[Daniel27] from romania
[Daniel27] how old?
[somegirl] 27
[Daniel27] what time is it?
[somegirl] 1 45
[Daniel27] ok
[somegirl] what times it in rome?
[Daniel27] but i dont leave in rome
[Daniel27] i leave in rumania
[Daniel27] not italy
[somegirl] oh
[somegirl] where is romania?
[Daniel27] near of hungary
[somegirl] no i just ate
[Daniel27] hungary not hungry
[somegirl] no it doesnt have an a in it
[Daniel27] what?
[somegirl] hungry
[Daniel27] i think you have a problem
[somegirl] what?
[Daniel27] hungary the country
[somegirl] you're not making any sense
[somegirl] oh wait
[somegirl] do you just spell it different in rome
[somegirl] ok I am real hungary I hope we are having dinner soon
[somegirl] when in rome, right?
[Daniel27] no
[somegirl] look I'm just trying to make you feel more at home
[somegirl] but I dont know how to speak italian
[Daniel27] im not fucking italian
[somegirl] um hate to break it to you but rome is definitely in italy
[Daniel27] ROMANIA not rome
[somegirl] wow you're cranky
[somegirl] is it because you're HUNGARY?
[somegirl] hahahahaha get it?
[Daniel27 has signed off]

Best conversation starter ever

2008-12-22T17:22:00.000-08:00

I think I actually might have lost this round.

[bobored345] hi
[bobored345] asl?
[somegirl] 22 f
[somegirl] you?
[bobored345] 24 m
[somegirl] why are you so bored
[somegirl] are you unemployed
[bobored345] nope
[bobored345] do u like small penises?
[somegirl] wow I bet you get a lot of ladies with that line
[bobored345] yeah
[bobored345] i'm 3 hard
[somegirl] inches?
[bobored345] yes
[bobored345] so?
[somegirl] i don't know
[somegirl] you're telling me
[bobored345] what do u think?
[somegirl] i think that's small?
[bobored345] fuck you
[somegirl] ?
[bobored345 has signed off]

Failure

2008-12-22T17:18:00.000-08:00

[bobored345] i kinda wanna try givin head:)
[bobored345] have u tried?
[somegirl] I tried but I failed
[bobored345] why?
[somegirl] because I'm a failure
[bobored345] why is that
[bobored345] dont talk like that
[somegirl] because I failed
[somegirl] I fail at everything
[bobored345] why is that?
[somegirl] I'm going to go end it all
[bobored345] dont talk like that
[bobored345] ur not a failure
[bobored345] in fact u sound pretty smart
[bobored345] do u like reading?
[somegirl] yeah
[somegirl] but i failed at that too
[bobored345] what do u read?
[somegirl] i read the directions on the microwave dinner
[somegirl] but Iburnt it anyway
[somegirl] because i'm a failure
[bobored345] ohh come on
[bobored345] stop it
[somegirl] are you suppose to cut across your wrist
[somegirl] or like all the way up your arm
[somegirl] i see it both ways in movies
[bobored345] stop talkin like that
[somegirl] its the end of the line for me
[somegirl] I'm not fooling anybody anymore not even myself
[bobored345] if u dnt wanna talk to me ill leave u alone
[bobored345] just plz dont talk like that
[somegirl] if you were in my shoes youd understand
[somegirl] I'm past caring
[somegirl] I mean who burns a microwave dinner
[somegirl] when the instructions are right there
[somegirl] goodbye cruel world
[bobored345] wait
[bobored345] your no really going to are you
[bobored345] hello
[bobored345] your kidding rite
[bobored345] your not really going to kill urself over a tv dinner
[bobored345] hello

I am totally a chick, dude

2008-12-22T14:41:00.000-08:00

[01:22] girl: shut up
[01:23] Type IM Below: spoken like a true lady
[01:23] girl: I am a delicate lass
[01:23] Type IM Below: ok dude
[01:24] girl: I am a chick
[01:24] Type IM Below: girls don't call themselves "chicks"
[01:24] girl: well this one does
[01:25] Type IM Below: wha's up
[01:25] girl: so do you like the Dodgers bro
[01:26] Type IM Below: "bro" did you just call me
bro?
[01:26] girl: naw dude
[01:26] girl: I'm a total lady
[01:26] Type IM Below: hahaha
[01:26] Type IM Below: sup man
[01:26] Type IM Below: how many dudes you get?
[01:27] girl: tons man
[01:27] girl: the dudes are all up ons
[01:27] Type IM Below: do they think you're really a
chick?
[01:27] girl: they KNOW i'm really a chick
[01:28] girl: so do you want to flirt or anything
[01:28] girl: b/c I am a female
[01:30] girl: dude don't leave me hangin
bro
[01:30] Type IM Below has signed off.

Fun with scissors

2008-12-22T14:27:00.000-08:00

[14:47] vandomguy: are you a painslut
[14:47] girlz4evr: am I?
[14:47] vandomguy: ok slut lets go.
[14:47] vandomguy: keep those panties off....at all times.
[14:48] vandomguy: you got something sharp?
[14:48] girlz4evr: yes ok scissors
[14:48] girlz4evr: i am cutting myself
[14:48] girlz4evr: it hurts
[14:48] vandomguy: good...
[14:48] vandomguy: squuz those tits....
[14:48] girlz4evr: what about the scissors?
[14:49] vandomguy: i hope we chat again..i have MUCH more planned ofr your body..
[14:49] vandomguy: squz them...
[14:49] vandomguy: make it hurt slut...
[14:49] girlz4evr: uhoh
[14:49] girlz4evr: i just cut myself
[14:49] girlz4evr: like some skin came off
[14:50] vandomguy: shit...how much of it?
[14:50] girlz4evr: a lot of it
[14:50] girlz4evr: its like
[14:50] girlz4evr: ok this hurts morre than it feels good
[14:50] girlz4evr: i dont lieek thisgame
[14:50] vandomguy: well then you need ot get a towel...squueeze ti to stop the bleeding....
[14:51] vandomguy: you'll need ot get it checked at a dr or clinic tho...
[14:51] vandomguy: you're a real painslut! I'll remember that...we wont make this mistake again...ok. we can cause as much pain without losing body parts!
[14:51] vandomguy: is it ok?
[14:51] girlz4evr: this is really bledding a lot
[14:52] girlz4evr: ow brb
[14:52] vandomguy: yes of course... you need ot hold somethign on it til it stopos...
[14:52] vandomguy: ok
[14:55] girlz4evr: wowim liight headed
[14:55] girlz4evr: i need to getto a hosptta
[14:56] vandomguy: holty shit you cut off a lot!
[14:56] vandomguy: APPLY PRESSURE...LOTS...squuezeit..and go get it stitched...shit shit shit...
[14:59] girlz4evr: ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;..ll
[14:59] girlz4evr: hllp
[15:01] vandomguy: are you there?
[15:02] vandomguy: hello?
[15:05] vandomguy: NO MORE scissors!
[15:05] vandomguy: call 911...if you need...
[15:08] vandomguy: are you there?
[15:09] vandomguy: hello?
[15:09] vandomguy: shit shit

It'll be more of a surprise this way

2008-12-22T00:13:00.000-08:00

This guy was asking for my number and would not give up, so I Jill Munroed him. Some other creeper had just told me his number, so I gave it to this guy. He called it, and the other guy answered, and after that I gave him a third guy's number, and he called it too.

[00:45] guest1431: ok
[00:45] guest1431: I called you
[00:46] guest1431: and a guy picked up
[00:46] here4fun: it didn't ring
[00:46] guest1431: well some guy picked up
[00:46] here4fun: let me call you
[00:47] here4fun: what's your number again
[00:47] guest1431: are you a guy?
[00:47] here4fun: no
[00:47] guest1431: this is really sketchy
[00:47] guest1431: I called both numbers you gave
me and they were both guys
[00:48] guest1431: the chances of both of those
numbers not working are slim
[00:48] here4fun: well is it my fault you can't dial a
phone?
[00:48] here4fun: just give me your number I'll call
you
[00:48] guest1431: I dialed exactly the righ tnumber
[00:48] here4fun: dude
[00:48] here4fun: can you just tell me yours
[00:49] guest1431: what girl says "dude"
[00:49] here4fun: I do
[00:49] here4fun: so are we not doing this?
[00:49] guest1431: I don't know if you're really who
you say you are
[00:50] here4fun: you don't know who I am anyway
[00:50] here4fun: it's the internet
[00:50] guest1431: you could be a guy
[00:50] here4fun: I swear on my eventual grave that I
am a girl
[00:51] guest1431: do you have a camera?
[00:51] here4fun: no
[00:51] guest1431: of course
[00:51] here4fun: 86365295076
[00:51] here4fun: is that really your number?
[00:51] guest1431: it's as much my number as it is
yours
[00:52] here4fun: that's 11 digits
[00:52] guest1431: how old are you?
[00:52] here4fun: it should be 10
[00:52] here4fun: 18
[00:52] here4fun: you could at least make up the
right number of digits
[00:53] guest1431: I dialed both your
number correctly twice, and they were both guys
[00:54] here4fun: if you won't give me a real number
I can just find a different guy
[00:55] here4fun: why won't you give me a real
phone number?
[00:55] guest1431: because you lied to me with 2
numbers
[00:55] here4fun: I did not
[00:55] here4fun: you're just too stupid to work a
phone I guess
[00:56] guest1431: you can't be serious. I think I'm
pretty capable of dialing 10 digits correctly
[00:56] here4fun: I'd have thought so too, but, here
we are
[00:57] guest1431: we wouldn't be here if you gave
me your real number
[00:57] guest1431: f this good night man

Full steam ahead!

2008-12-22T00:04:00.000-08:00

[23:35] sukhy007: hey baby
[23:36] girl62127: Ahoy there cutie!
[23:36] girl62127: What are your planned shipboard activities this evening?
[23:38] sukhy007: nothing
[23:39] girl62127: Let's make some arrangements then.
[23:39] girl62127: How about a masquerade party?!
[23:39] sukhy007: ur name
[23:39] sukhy007: plz
[23:40] girl62127: I'm Kelly
[23:40] girl62127: And I'm your new activities director!
[23:40] girl62127: rrRROWRr
[23:40] sukhy007: um
[23:40] girl62127: UH-Oh!
[23:41] sukhy007: what
[23:41] girl62127: Looks like we're on a collision course with SULTRYNESS!
[23:40] sukhy007 has signed off.

LERN 2 REED

2008-12-21T23:53:00.000-08:00

[00:26] guest9163: hey asl
[00:26] bored2nite: 19 f nj, you?
[00:27] guest9163: 13 f from philly
[00:26] bored2nite: wow you're a youngun
[00:26] bored2nite: so what's up?
[00:26] guest9163: just sitting around
[00:28] bored2nite: ...are you a lesbian?
[00:28] guest9163: no are u gay
[00:28] bored2nite: no
[00:28] guest9163: why u ask me that
[00:29] bored2nite: well people that strike up a conversation with you on the internet don't usually just want to talk
[00:29] guest9163: ohh
[00:29] guest9163: i wanna chat bout some things
[00:30] guest9163: if thats okay with u
[00:30] bored2nite: sure, what's on your mind?
[00:30] guest9163: just one topic
[00:30] guest9163: can u guess wud it is
[00:31] bored2nite: umm
[00:31] guest9163: take a wild guess
[00:31] bored2nite: fruit roll ups?
[00:31] guest9163: nope guess again
[00:32] bored2nite: training bras?
[00:32] guest9163: nopee
[00:32] guest9163: SEX
[00:32] guest9163: if thats cool with your
[00:32] bored2nite: wow, I did not see that coming at all
[00:32] guest9163: okay
[00:33] guest9163: do u wanna
[00:33] bored2nite: do I wanna what?
[00:33] guest9163: talk about sex
[00:33] bored2nite: well what, do you need me to explain sex to you?
[00:33] guest9163: no
[00:34] bored2nite: I seem to be missing the tone of this conversation entirely
[00:34] guest9163: are u white
[00:34] bored2nite: yes I am
[00:34] guest9163: thought so
[00:34] bored2nite: what are you?
[00:35] guest9163: black white puerto rico jamican chinse and more
[00:35] bored2nite: fun
[00:36] guest9163: if you dont wanna talk about sex
[00:36] guest9163: then we won't
[00:36] bored2nite: right
[00:36] bored2nite: but I don't understand how you want to talk about sex if you're not a lesbian and you don't need me to explain the birds and the bees
[00:37] guest9163: yeahh
[00:37] guest9163: are u a gurl
[00:37] bored2nite: yes I am
[00:37] guest9163: ohhh
[00:37] guest9163: i thought u were a guy
[00:38] guest9163: sorry
[00:38] guest9163: byee
[00:38] bored2nite: ... wow
[00:38] bored2nite: please take English again
[00:38] bored2nite: and get at least a D
[00:38] guest9163: haha
[00:38] guest9163: funny
[00:39] guest9163: plz stop talkin to me befor i get mad
[00:39] guest9163: and u dont like me when im mad
[00:39] bored2nite: I don't?
[00:39] guest9163: good holla white gurll
[00:40] bored2nite: what?
[00:40] guest9163: peace
[00:40] bored2nite: seriously learn to read
[00:40] bored2nite: you can practice with the nutritional facts on the side of your Juicy Juice
[00:40] guest9163: leave me the fuck alone
[00:40] guest9163: what the fuck it wrong with you
[00:40] guest9163: fuck u
[00:40] guest9163: drop dead
[00:40] guest9163: i fuckin hate you
[00:40] bored2nite: you're the one who started talking to me, remember
[00:40] guest9163: i fuckin hate you
[00:41] guest9163: and im then one who is gonna stop talking to you
[00:41] guest9163: fuck u nigga
[00:41] bored2nite: I'm white
[00:41] guest9163: drop dead bitch
[00:41] guest9163: and im mix
[00:41] bored2nite: yes, we established that
[00:41] guest9163: so peace
[00:41] guest9163: bye
[00:41] guest9163: hola
[00:41] bored2nite: hahaha
[00:41] bored2nite: "peace" after all that?
[00:42] guest9163: bye
[00:42] guest9163: okay bye
[00:42] bored2nite: you need to get your thoughts straightened out
[00:42] bored2nite: maybe do a venn diagram before you start talking
[00:42] guest9163: fuck u
[00:42] guest9163: it summer mutha fuckin
[00:42] bored2nite: what?
[00:43] bored2nite: are you coherent in any language?
[00:44] guest9163: fuck u nigga
[00:44] guest9163: holla
[00:44] bored2nite: again, white
[00:44] guest9163: bye
[00:44] guest9163: white gurl white gurl white gurl
[00:44] guest9163: bye
[00:44] bored2nite: very astute observation
[00:44] guest9163: okay bye
[00:45] guest9163: sorry that i ever im u
[00:45] bored2nite: I accept your apology
[00:45] guest9163: i wanst apologizin bitch fuck u
[00:45] guest9163: okay
[00:45] guest9163: bye
[00:45] guest9163: and
[00:45] guest9163: fuck u
[00:45] guest9163: bye

Somebody has to dig them

2008-12-21T23:49:00.000-08:00

[big_red]how big your boobs?
[big_red]what you do for work?
[fonx]gravedigger
[big_red]really?
[big_red]hello
[big_red]you there?
[fonx]yes
[fonx]sorry I was digging a grave
[big_red]lol
[big_red]you like sex?
[fonx]yeah when I'm not digging graves
[big_red]ok forget it

LOL wrong window

2008-12-21T23:41:00.000-08:00

[17:06] jzeldat69: qtpie hahah thats cute
[17:06] qtpie884563: lol asl
[17:06] jzeldat69: 21 m nyc
[17:07] jzeldat69: u?
[17:07] qtpie884563: 18 f ca
[17:07] jzeldat69: im pretty bored
[17:08] qtpie884563: i told u to stop talking to me
[17:08] jzeldat69: who me?
[17:08] qtpie884563: LOL sorry
[17:08] qtpie884563: wrong window
[17:08] jzeldat69: HAHAHAHAHHA
[17:08] jzeldat69: thats funny
[17:08] qtpie884563: lol ya
[17:08] qtpie884563: so what r u doing
[17:09] jzeldat69: got facebook>
[17:09] jzeldat69: ?
[17:09] qtpie884563: never had 1 of those
[17:09] jzeldat69: do u have any pics???
[17:10] qtpie884563: not on this comp
[17:10] qtpie884563: srry
[17:10] qtpie884563: i will call the police
[17:10] qtpie884563: im not kidding
[17:10] qtpie884563: so what do you look like?
[17:11] jzeldat69: wait... i think u got the wrong box again...
[17:11] qtpie884563: what
[17:11] jzeldat69: im 5 10
[17:11] qtpie884563: LOLOLOL
[17:11] qtpie884563: ya
[17:11] jzeldat69: puerto rican
[17:11] jzeldat69: smart, attractive
[17:11] qtpie884563: do u carry a knife
[17:12] qtpie884563: my dad told me porto ricans always carry knifes
[17:13] qtpie884563: hello??
[17:17] jzeldat69: yes i do carry a knife
[17:17] jzeldat69: because im in the army
[17:18] qtpie884563: lol ok
[17:18] jzeldat69: i cant believe you dont have any pics
[17:18] qtpie884563: is the war still going on in porto rica
[17:18] jzeldat69: ridiculous
[17:18] qtpie884563: thats all my dad talks about
[17:18] jzeldat69: WHAT??
[17:18] jzeldat69: puerto rico?
[17:19] qtpie884563: ya
[17:19] jzeldat69: a war in PR?
[17:19] jzeldat69: please
[17:19] jzeldat69: ur thinkin costa rica
[17:19] qtpie884563: i think he said porto rica
[17:19] jzeldat69: ummmm no
[17:19] jzeldat69: i live there
[17:19] jzeldat69: i just got back 2 weeks ago
[17:19] jzeldat69: no war
[17:20] qtpie884563: r u saying my dad is a liar
[17:20] jzeldat69: pretty much
[17:20] jzeldat69: hahaha
[17:20] qtpie884563: it's my body and I will do what I want ok
[17:20] qtpie884563: call the cops if u want
[17:20] jzeldat69: ok you know what
[17:20] jzeldat69: bye
[17:20] qtpie884563: LOL oops

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark

2008-12-21T23:29:00.000-08:00

[15:18] guythree: hey baby
[15:18] guythree: asl plz
[15:18] me: 18 f NM
[15:21] guythree: what do you do for fun
[15:22] me: games!!!!
[15:23] guythree: i like that what kind of games
[15:25] me: scrabble!!1
[15:26] guythree: lol how about roleplay
[15:26] guythree: do u like that
[15:28] me: how?
[15:28] guythree: acting out scenes
[15:29] me: oh
[15:29] me: like hamlet!!
[15:29] guythree: ?
[15:29] me: ok I'll be hamlet
[15:29] me: nono I want to be fortinbras
[15:29] me: you be hamlet
[15:29] guythree has signed off.

Back from the dead

2008-12-21T23:27:00.000-08:00

[15:18] huddarulz: asl plz
[15:18] girlz4evr: 14 f CA
[15:21] huddarulz: r u there
[15:22] girlz4evr: hello?
[15:23] huddarulz: hello
[15:25] girlz4evr: Mom?
[15:26] huddarulz: no beta ths is uncle lun
[15:28] girlz4evr: WHAT!!!!!!
[15:28] huddarulz: where u hd gone
[15:29] girlz4evr: UNCLE LUN IT CANNOT BE U
[15:29] girlz4evr: I SAW U IN THE CASKET
[15:30] huddarulz: ????????????

Soo... what's up?

2008-12-21T23:10:00.000-08:00

[23:24] guest3546: 18/m n bored whats up
[23:25] me: what's up with you?
[23:25] guest3546: not too much
[23:26] guest3546: you?
[23:26] me: nothing really
[23:26] me: so what's going on
[23:26] guest3546: just talking to people
[23:26] guest3546: but the chat room is kinda crazy
[23:27] me: yes it is
[23:28] me: so what are you up to?
[23:28] guest3546: girl
[23:28] guest3546: lol
[23:29] guest3546: but
[23:29] guest3546: not dirty talk though
[23:30] guest3546: lol
[23:32] me: cool
[23:32] me: so are you doing anything right now
[23:32] guest3546: lol
[23:32] guest3546: no
[23:32] guest3546: why?
[23:36] me: just wondering
[23:36] me: what's your name?
[23:37] guest3546: david
[23:37] me: sooo david
[23:37] me: what's up
[23:38] guest3546: nonot much
[23:38] guest3546: what about you
[23:38] me: very little
[23:38] me: just sitting here talking to you!
[23:38] me: you seem a little distracted though
[23:38] me: are you doing something now?
[23:38] guest3546: well
[23:38] guest3546: I went to brush my teeth
[23:39] guest3546: sorry
[23:39] me: I forgive you
[23:39] me: so what are you doing right now that you've finished brushing your teeth?
[23:39] me: are you just talking to me?
[23:39] guest3546: just talking to you
[23:40] me: how many people?
[23:40] guest3546: 1?
[23:41] me: great
[23:41] guest3546: lol
[23:41] guest3546: I hope so
[23:42] me: what's up?
[23:45] guest3546: lol
[23:45] me: so what's going on with you david
[23:46] guest3546: idk
[23:48] guest3546: so what's up with you
[23:49] guest3546: since you've been asking me that
[23:49] me: you already asked me that
[23:49] me: I said not much
[23:49] guest3546: yeah
[23:49] me: don't you remember anything
[23:49] guest3546: but you asked me that for like 5 times
[23:49] me: I did not
[23:49] guest3546: I remember everything
[23:49] guest3546: better than you
[23:49] guest3546: you did too
[23:49] me: you must have amnesia
[23:49] me: because I asked you once
[23:50] me: learn to count dude
[23:50] me: sheesh
[23:50] guest3546: lol
[23:50] guest3546: oh my bad
[23:50] guest3546: you didn't ask what's up
[23:50] me: yeah
[23:50] me: that's right
[23:50] guest3546: you asked "what are you doing"?
[23:50] me: yeah?
[23:50] me: well what ARE you doing
[23:50] me: you never give a straight answer
[23:50] guest3546: I SAID i was talking to you
[23:51] me: I KNOW
[23:51] me: but have you ever heard of MULTITASKING
[23:51] me: omg
[23:51] guest3546: lol
[23:51] me: srsly what are you doing right now
[23:51] me: I know its not the only thing you're doing
[23:51] guest3546: talking to you
[23:51] guest3546: only
[23:51] guest3546: THE ONLY THING
[23:51] me: why don't you understand me
[23:51] me: am I not speaking English good enough
[23:52] guest3546: no
[23:52] me: do all the other girls you sweet-talk fall for this baloney?
[23:52] guest3546: what the heck
[23:52] me: yes no
[23:52] me: make up your mind you scumball
[23:52] me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING
[23:52] guest3546: ok
[23:53] guest3546: listen
[23:53] me: quit lying
[23:53] guest3546: right Now
[23:53] guest3546: right this moment
[23:53] guest3546: I'm just talking to you
[23:53] guest3546: ONLY
[23:53] guest3546: other times
[23:53] me: only....
[23:53] guest3546: I can be on some website
[23:53] me: only what?
[23:53] me: only 9 OTHER HUSSIES
[23:53] me: I know how your kind is
[23:53] guest3546: no
[23:53] me: you can't fool me
[23:53] guest3546: why don't you believe me?
[23:54] guest3546: ok
[23:54] me: because it's so obvious that you're lying
[23:54] me: it's just ridiculous
[23:54] guest3546: no
[23:54] guest3546: I did talked to other girls
[23:54] guest3546: but it's a long time ago
[23:54] guest3546: for the last 15 minutes
[23:54] guest3546: I was just talking to you
[23:54] me: yeah
[23:55] me: I'm not going to fall for it again
[23:55] me: I'm going to ask you a question
[23:55] me: and I want you to answer me
[23:55] me: straight
[23:55] me: the truth
[23:55] me: ok
[23:55] guest3546: ok
[23:55] guest3546: I've told you the truth
[23:55] me: ok
[23:55] me: besides talking to me
[23:55] me: what are you doing
[23:55] guest3546: nothing
[23:55] guest3546: for REAL
[23:56] guest3546: I'm not in any chat rooms
[23:56] guest3546: no other windows
[23:56] me: you know what
[23:56] me: ok
[23:56] me: sure
[23:56] guest3546: nothing
[23:56] me: I BELIEVE you
[23:56] me: absolutely
[23:56] me: nothing else is going on at all
[23:56] me: SURE
[23:57] guest3546: you sounds like "sure, whatever"
[23:57] me: I sounds like NOT BELIEVING YOU
[23:57] me: because all men are LIARS like you
[23:57] guest3546: yeah
[23:57] guest3546: oh you know what
[23:57] me: you won't even tell me what you're doing
[23:57] guest3546: I've been tellin gyou the truth
[23:57] me: what could it hurt to be honest?
[23:57] me: I mean seriously
[23:57] me: I am a total stranger
[23:57] guest3546: damn it
[23:57] me: what am I going to do with that information?
[23:57] guest3546: I've been honest
[23:58] guest3546: yeah
[23:58] guest3546: exactly
[23:58] me: I'm onto you buster
[23:58] me: you fess up right now
[23:58] guest3546: oh ok
[23:58] me: stop lying to me
[23:58] guest3546: what did I say?
[23:58] me: you didn't say anything
[23:58] me: because you just won't tell me
[23:58] me: what you're doing
[23:59] guest3546: listen
[23:59] me: ok ok
[23:59] me: you know what
[23:59] me: never mind
[23:59] me: let's just forget it
[23:59] me: there's no point in getting aggravated
[23:59] guest3546: and I don't care if you believe me or not
[23:59] me: let's just talk about something else
[23:59] me: I'm sorry alright
[23:59] me: I get a little worked up sometimes
[23:59] me: let's just change the subject
[00:00] guest3546: well
[00:00] me: please?
[00:00] guest3546: fine
[00:01] me: great
[00:01] guest3546: so
[00:01] me: so
[00:01] me: what's up
[00:01] guest3546: oh my god
[00:01] guest3546 has signed off.

Stephen Hawking

2008-12-21T23:03:00.000-08:00

[14:47] guest2281: so what gets u excited
[14:53] me: how about Stephen Hawking
[14:54] guest2281: what
[14:54] me: yeah talk 2 me in a Stephen Hawking voice
[14:54] guest2281: ok..
[14:54] me: lecture me about gravitational entropy
[14:54] me: OH BABY
[14:55] guest2281 has signed off.

Mnemonic Devices

2008-12-21T22:53:00.000-08:00

[14:29] jbhite17: hi are u bored baby?
[14:29] me: yes
[14:29] jbhite17: do you think i could help you with your boredness?
[14:29] me: maybe, do u have an idea?
[14:29] jbhite17: well i think that i might have just forgotten to put clothes on this morning. I am such an idiot...do you mind?
[14:30] me: no u can leave urself a post-it to remember next time
[14:30] jbhite17: ok...will do
[14:30] jbhite17: but thats not really what i had in mind
[14:31] me: yeah its ok i kept forgetting to take my medicine
[14:31] me: so i would leave myself a post it so i woud remember
[14:31] me: it really helpd
[14:31] me: that and my dad hitting me
[14:32] me: but anyway whats your idea
[14:32] jbhite17: ok...
[14:32] jbhite17 has signed off.

IT BEGINS

2008-12-21T22:24:00.000-08:00

My favorite sport is messing with people who try to talk to me on the internet. I'll be online, the little box will pop up, and some guy will start talking to me (or if it's evident that I'm female, hitting on me). My obvious goal is to get him to stop. Ignoring and blocking will do the trick, but that's no fun. I like to put some style into it. Nothing is quite so entertaining as creating an increasingly awkward situation.
This little hobby doesn't play out every time, but it has its moments, and I thought it was nigh on time I archived those moments. And got myself an agent. Enjoy!